25 March 2008

Easter - chocolate holiday

Well, Duane and I had a lovely easter mostly. We spent most of our time painting the nursery, laundry, toilet and bathroom. Cream looks so much better than mint-green :)

Yesterday we met up with friends for lunch at Indooroopilly. Did some shopping beforehand. Do you know that feeling where you go in to buy a $25 kitchen gadget, and walk out of a shop spending more than 10 times that and feel like you've been given a great deal? That happened to us. One of the stores had a 20% discount, which brought this whizz-bang foodprocessor I've been looking at for atleast two years within budget :).

This morning a check-up with my Obstetrician. The new one... the old one broke his pelvis. I have a ton of questions and he better answer all of them......

I'll keep you updated.

23 March 2008

The privacy of pregnancy

Today is a weird day. Its not been an extremely joyous day, I've been grumpy, annoyed with myself, sad... lots of bad emotions. That was kinda triggered by this barbeque we went to yesterday. I'll try and explain.

We were invited via Duanes parents to attend a bbq at a cousins place. We like the family, and don't mind attending the occasional social gathering so we went. We were looking forward to it. Mind you, we don't have all that much in common with Duanes cousins. Not that that is a bad thing, just we have different interests I guess. Everyone knows how much trouble we've had falling pregnant, and ofcourse anyone who is expecting twins is public property. Its an easy topic of discussion. This is where it gets weird, and probably what took me all day to figure out. I didn't want to talk about the pregnancy. I was happy to discuss anything else. I just didn't feel comfortable sharing anything about it at that point in time. I heard Ruth say something about breast & bottle feeding to someone and that made me feel rather awkward. I totally didn't get my reaction, and have been sooo annoyed by it (my reaction). Ofcourse she is excited, she is becoming a grandmother, and ofcourse she wants to share.... and I'm more than fine with that. better that than the opposite, really. Mind you, this is not the first time I've clammed up about it in public. There have been other social gatherings where I was just totally stand off-ish about the whole thing. The line "I don't wish to discuss this at this point in time" has been used by myself on more than one occasion. (I didn't yesterday and didn't have to at all. There were some references, which were fine but no one really raised the topic at all so I have no real idea why I felt so uncomfortable)

Anyway, fast forward to this evening. I think I've figured it out.... kinda....
This pregnancy is on my mind a lot. Hec, since these two have started moving around its been hard not to think about it honestly. I love talking about it to those whom I feel close to. It is something so intrinsicly personal I am uncomfortable talking about it to people I don't know and/or trust. When it comes to unfamiliar people, I clam up, I get all protective and 'assertive'.

Most people fall pregnant in the privacy of their own bedroom. There are two people involved. For us there is not much privacy involved with the whole falling pregnant thing. Hec, I often jokingly say that for us it is a team effort.
I guess that after all the 'public' prodding and poking I have a far greater need to be selective about what I share with whom. I've never been an overly private person as my friends and family can attest to *grins*. I guess this pregnancy brings out a slightly different side in me.

And again, I fly in the face of tradition. A pregnant woman is after-all public property, and a pregnancy should be discussed in all gory detail etc right? Not my thing I guess.
Same thing with people telling me I can't 'do' something just because I'm pregnant. Thats not a reason. I know my body, I know my limits better than ANYONE. And I truly wish that people would get it into their thick skulls that I still have a fully functional brain and that neither myself nor Duane will do anything to put these babies at risk. However, that does not turn me into some kind of couch potato, I still have a life to lead and damn if I don't. There is more to life than being pregnant, and its not all there is to it at the moment, eventhough it does take up a large part of it.

10 March 2008

Feeling special

Geez I've been slack. I haven't updated the blog for quite a while. For those of you whom read Duanes blog, you already know about the minor dramas from last week. I don't feel like talking about those so if you want to know, check it there :).

Pregnancy wise whats happened since my last post. I'm 22 weeks pregnant this week. Last week I started feeling clear movements, and I have to say that is great. Finally past this stage where you just have to 'trust' that everything is going ok. I still firmly beleive that the inability to have a peep-hole where you can just check all is going well is a purposeful design 'feature' with the sole aim to stress out expectant mums-to-be. Movement means life means more-or-less ok-ish. Its the "hey you are now past most of the risk-stages, so we can now start giving you more reasurance" feature of pregnancy. Numbers: I've put on about 5 kgs so far, so thats just under about a kg a month. Doctors are happy and thats all that counts. I'm still not showing overly much, but atleast there is some tummy-action now :). But enough waffling about this.

I've been making sure I 'rub' vitamine E cream on my belly nearly every evening since someone mentioned this option to me. Not that I'm worried about stretch-marks, I don't really care honestly, They kinda are a type of 'battle scar' to wear with pride *grins*. I just remember really well that after my last laperoscopy I had stretchmarks which were awfully bruised and actually quite sore. I wanted to try to prevent some of that (the discomfort).

Anyways, tonight I decided it was time to go to bed earlyish and did my 'normal' rub stuff in my belly skin' thing (I forget it often...). As I was rubbing this stuff in, I felt both babies kinda "roll" under my hands. One on the left size of my tummy, the other on my right side. So I called Duane into the bedroom and had him repeat the motion and he could feel both his babies move against his hand. He has felt some tiny kicks before, but this was the first real clear movement he has felt. It was such a special moment, very difficult to describe. The look on his face was so lovely and beautiful, I don't think I've ever loved him more. He is going to make such an amazing daddy. It must be weird for the daddies, atleast as mummy-to-be you get some warning on whats going on, body changes etc..... daddies know its happening because they are told, but I don't know when it becomes "real".

Both of us started this pregnancy not being extremely happy about it, more scared than anything, not daring to hope that this would actually happen. Now I guess we're both at the point where we're both starting to feel comfortable with the 'being happy' about expecting, in our case, two babies. It still seems extremely surreal most of the time tho......